An old musician was walking in a street when he saw a little shop with the sign:"Musical pets". With great curiosity, he walked in and saw a beautiful parrot: big, elegant and with a green, yellow, red and blue plumage. He was really impressed and decided to buy it.
The dealer said: "Good choice! It's $10,000"
"$10,000 !? "- replied the old man - "Why is it so expensive?"
"This beautiful parrot can sing all Mozart Arias by heart!"
"Really? Amazing......but it's really a bit too much for me....." when he said these words he noticed another parrot, a bit smaller than the other and less colored. "It must be cheaper" he thought so he asked the price to the shop owner.
"Oh, That parrot costs $20,000"
"$20,000 !?" - said, shocked, the customer - "Why?"
"Besides all Mozart, it can sing also all Wagner and Verdi Operas...."
"Astonishing.......but it's really too much.....but listen......that little, ugly, all black parrot there in the corner......it MUST be cheaper, right, how much is it?"
"Well, that is $100,000"
"What ?" - exclaimed the poor man, totally upset - "What can it do?"
"Oh, actually it can do nothing but all the others call him MAESTRO!"
Two famous violinists meet each other after a long period and they begin talking about their latest successes:
"......and, think, few days ago I did a marvellous concert in Rome, at St. Peter's Basilica, in front of the Pope: I played at my very best, the audience was totally amazed and.......at the end an astonishing miracle happened: a statue of Our Lady began crying.......It was wonderful, an undescribable emotion......"
Time passes and, few months later, the two players meet each other again:
"Hey, I did a concert in St. Peter, in front of the Pope, too......"
"Really? And how was it?"
"Oh, it was wonderful: I played at my very best, the audience was totally amazed and.......at the end an astonishing miracle happened: Christ went down the cross, walked toward me, shaked my hands and said "Congratulations, you really played well, not like the other one who made my Mother cry!"
Broken Consort: when someone in the ensemble has to leave and go to the restroom.
Cantus Firmus: the part you get when you can play only four notes.
Cut Time: when you are going twice as fast as everybody else in the ensemble.
Interval: the time you need to find the right note. There are three kinds: Major Interval: a long time. Minor Interval: a few bars. Inverted Interval: when you have to go back one bar and try again.
Transposition: advanced recorder technique where you change from alto to soprano fingering (or vice-versa) in the middle of a piece.
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